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エズラ クロ I L L U S T R A T I O N
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+ masticate

Z

+ pithy reviews | chronological :
+ arbitrarily rated

  • VONNEGUT : bluebeard
    4.8 - i believe in rabo karabekian. i believe he lived among us, that one of his paintings is peeling in some storage basement at MOMA. i believe that if i were to go to Brand Bookshop i would find his musky book under autobiographies. a clever device, one "hoax autobiography" within another. there is a palpable melancholy even in the happiest moments, and the tension builds and builds and you fear that edification may not come because that would be the saddest kind of torture. but oh does vonnegut delivers. p.s. i have the one with the cowboy boots on the cover.

    HEINLEIN : stranger in a strange land
    2.0 - some books age like Sean Connery, this one did not. wanted to grok it but i became disengaged three quarters of the way through.

    SIMMONS : the big book of basketball
    4.5 - since i have had the dubious pleasure of trudging through several of robert jordan's more tediously loquacious offerings multiple times, i found this hefty paperback offering to be quite breezy and enjoyable. bursting with amusing anecdotes and ingeniously compartmentalized, it may very well be the perfect book to bring with when you take the Browns to the Super Bowl. sure beats ayn rand.

    BENDIS : z
    4.2 - i heart deena pilgrim.

    SANDERSON : towers of midnight
    *

    r MURAKAMI : coin locker babies
    *

    r MURAKAMI : in miso soup
    *

    DAHL : the witches
    4.6 - this is no "danny champion of the world," but is one of the holy trinity (along with the BFG). when i was a wee lad, these blasted witches gave me daymares. quentin blake is truly gifted with the line. gah! those vile nostrils and patchy scalps.

    ROTHFUSS : the name of the wind
    4.7 - a bit of scott lynch, though not quite as gifted a city builder. pacing is spot on until the parodic quest for the dragon's head at which point the dialogue stumbles a bit. the denouement, though singular in its much awaited revelation, feels decidedly rushed. oh! but the characters were savory to the taste; herein is where rothfuss matches the great ilien.

    rr MARTIN : "a song of ice and fire"
    5.0 - worked my way through this fantastic series again in preparation for the premiere of the HBO show.

    MIÉVILLE : kraken
    collingswood is sexy.

    SANDERSON : the gathering storm
    *

    MIÉVILLE : un lun dun
    *

    MIÉVILLE : iron council
    *

    IRVING : the world according to garp
    *

    CHANDLER : the big sleep
    *

    GAIMAN : american gods
    4.5 - alternate versions of gods, having migrated over with their respective diasporas, locking horns with the Gods of Media and Plastic, loverly. wonderful cameos, from 沙悟凈 to Quetzalcoatl. john chapman strikes a particularly nostalgic chord -- reminding me of my days as a schoolboy, where second grade history homework involved crayoning in a picture of the great johnny appleseed. go read it, and have a blast wiki'ing the plethora of Gods.

    PALAHNIUK : lullaby
    4.1 - do you want to read something by UpChuck that will prolapse the shit-specked colon of your mind?
    Read GUTS.

    LYNCH : red seas under red skies
    4.3 - a long interlude with sparse development of primaries, more of an apéritif. laughed aloud once; a bark from the center of the world that petered off in a death-rattle chuckle followed by a shake of the head. orrin fucking ravelle. the adventure at sea is decidedly un-O'Brian-esque (not a horrible thing) -- more egregious is one painfully formulaic and disposable relationship; it shows Lynch's hand early ergo leading to a predictable conclusion (aside from one smirk-a-licious tweak of the nose). all in all, still smashing good fun.

    LYNCH : the lies of locke lamora
    4.7 - four point seven pounds of flesh. not as insane as mieville's mutation of dickensian london, but readily fills an empty hole in my soul -- one which steadily increases in size the longer a dance with dragons languishes in the purgatory of martin's mind. oh, to be a gentleman's bastard...

    MARTEL : life of pi
    4.1 - an allegorical tale that may very well be as "original" as harry potter. an increasingly existential calvin & a progressively high-on-id hobbes adrift; fitting considering the seemingly pedantic overture. no doubt something different is taken and kept by each of us, thus worth your time.

    BURROUGHS : tarzan of the apes
    2.1 - i went to the used bookstore in search of mars and found the jungle. evidence of burrough's southern upbringing is . . . dated. otherwise, prose is endearing in a pulpy way.
    "When the long knife drank deep a dozen times of Terkoz' heart's blood, and the great carcass rolled lifeless upon the ground, it was a primeval woman who sprang forward with outstretched arms toward the primeval man who had fought for her and won her. And Tarzan? He did what no red-blooded man needs lessons in doing. He took his woman in his arms and smothered her upturned, panting lips with kisses. For a moment Jane Porter lay there with half-closed eyes. For a moment - the first in her young life - she knew the meaning of love."
    O_o . . . be still my trembling heart. from kipling, burroughs borrowed; and from burroughs, auel plagiarized. oh jondalar, ayla love you.
    fun fact #215: jane goodall thinks she would make a much better spouse for tarzan than her namesake.

    GRUEN : water for elephants
    3.9 - errs in being a bit albom-esque. i confess to cravings for a darker telling.

    PATERSON : bridge to terabithia
    4.7 - tears for leslie burke & lisa hill.

    BOURDAIN : the nasty bits
    4.2 - Kitchen Confidential is PRO -- this is a collection of anecdotes: director's cuts / behind the scenes commentary of his various exploits on No Reservations, some journalistic work, and a modicum of KC rehash. High points include: Ferran Adrià's El Bulli, Masa, and Tony's love affair with Vietnam.

    MIÉVILLE : looking for jake
    3.5 - it was like watching an old sailor sit on a stool as a young sea nymph knit a sweater out of his excessively long and yarn-like beard. not earth shattering by any means, a bit boring at times, and yet slightly fucked up enough to pique my curiosity. by the end, she had a half-knit turtleneck with what seemed to be five sleeves.

    MIÉVILLE : the scar
    5.0 - they had me at avanc. bellis coldwine, tanner sack, the lovers, the immortal brucolac, and the incomparable uther doul, a truly rich tableau of characters. i was a vampyr suckling upon a pulsing carotid the size of the ganges; equal parts exotic, erotic, putrifying, salty, and cold, like a whetstone scraping across your incisors. a tremendously rewarding read.

    MIÉVILLE : perdido street station
    4.9 - xenophobes need not apply.

    MURAKAMI : the elephant vanishes
    4.0 - plane to NY, interrupted numerous times by my neighbor the aviophobe, Captain Valium. he regaled me with sordid backstage anecdotes about the Sex Pistols and decried the rise of grunge in the 90s. CV finally went to sleep halfway through our alloted time together in purgatory, resting his moppish hair on my shoulder. i'll give this collection another go, some other time.

    MURAKAMI : kafka by the shore
    4.4 - it is like walking down a familiar street and suddenly the ground beneath you is made of clouds and you realize that you are in a dream; one that is not particularly pleasant or titillating, but very comfortable and exceedingly existential.

    KIRINO : out
    5.0 - twistingly, achingly beautiful.